Sunday, November 13, 2011
Funny Tale
A cowboy from Texas attended a social function where Barack Obama was trying to gather support for his Health Care Plan.
Once Obama discovered the cowboy was from President Bush’s home area, he started to make fun of him by talking in a southern drawl and using single syllable words.
As he was doing that, he kept swatting at some flies that were buzzing around his head.
The cowboy asked, “Y’all havin’ some problem with them circle flies?”
Obama stopped talking and said, “Well, yes, if that’s what they’re called, but I’ve never heard of circle flies.”
“Well, sir,” the cowboy replied, “Circle flies hang around ranches.
They’re called circle flies because they’re almost always found circlin’ around the back end of a horse.”
“Oh,” Obama replied, and went back to rambling.
A moment later he stopped and bluntly asked, “Are you calling me a horse’s ass?”
“No, sir,” the cowboy replied, “I have too much respect for the citizens of this great country to call their president a horse’s ass.”
“That’s a good thing, “Obama responded and began rambling on once more.
After a short pause, the cowboy, in his best Texas drawl, said, “Hard to fool them flies, though.”
Posted on 11/13/11 at 08:37 AM
Joke of the Week
Sunday, November 06, 2011
Retirement is Different for Everyone
One day, while going to the store, I passed by a nursing home.
On the front lawn were six old ladies lying naked on the grass, Millie, Nelda, Elma, Lacey, Sippy and Rosie.
I thought this was a bit unusual, but continued on my way to the store.
On my return trip, I passed the same nursing home with the same six old ladies lying naked on the lawn.
This time my curiosity got the best of me, and I went inside to talk to the Nursing Home Administrator.
‘Do you know there are six ladies lying naked on your front lawn?’
‘Yes,’ she said. ‘They’re retired prostitutes, and they’re having a yard sale.’
Posted on 11/06/11 at 01:45 PM
Joke of the Week
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Coffee and Testicles Break
A guy goes to the Post Office to apply for a job. The interviewer asks him, “Are you allergic to anything?”
He replies, “Yes, caffeine. I can’t drink coffee.”
“Ok, Have you ever been in the military service?”
“Yes,” he says, “I was in Iraq for one tour.”
The interviewer says, “That will give you 5 extra points toward employment.” Then he asks, “Are you disabled in any way?”
The guy says, “Yes. A bomb exploded near me and I lost both my testicles.”
The interviewer grimaces and then says, “Okay. You’ve got enough points for me to hire you right now. Our normal hours are from 8:00 am
to 4:00 pm. You can start tomorrow at 10:00 am, and plan on starting at 10:00 am every day.”
The guy is puzzled and asks, “If the work hours are from 8:00 am to 4:00 pm, why don’t you want me here until 10:00 am?”
“This is a government job,” the interviewer says. “For the first two hours, we just stand around drinking coffee and scratching our balls.
No point in you coming in for that.”
Posted on 10/30/11 at 03:44 PM
Joke of the Week
Sunday, October 23, 2011
How Many Women have you slept with?
My wife asked me, “How many women have you slept with?”
I proudly replied, “Only you, Darling.
With all the others, I was awake.”
Posted on 10/23/11 at 03:42 PM
Joke of the Week
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Trip to Italy
A young New York woman was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean.
But just before she could throw herself from the docks, a handsome young man stopped her. “You have so much to live for,” said the man. “I’m a sailor, and we are off to Italy tomorrow. I can stow you away on my ship. I’ll take care of you, bring you food every day, and keep you happy.”
With nothing to lose, combined with the fact that she had always wanted to go to Italy , so she accepted. That night the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a small but comfortable compartment in the hold. From then on, every night he would bring her three sandwiches, a bottle of red wine, and make love to her until dawn.
Three weeks later she was discovered by the captain during a routine inspection. “What are you doing here?” asked the captain.
“I have an arrangement with one of the sailors,” she replied. “He brings me food and I get a free trip to Italy .”
“I see,” the captain says.
Her conscience got the best of her and she added, “Plus, he’s screwing me.”
“He certainly is,” replied the Captain. “This is the Staten Island Ferry”.
Posted on 10/16/11 at 03:35 PM
Joke of the Week
