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Taxes

2026-09-06T15:00:00Z

A kid says, “Dad, can you explain taxes?”

The dad says, “Sure.”

The kid says, “Actually never mind. I already don’t like it.”

{extended}

Problem with Authority

2026-08-30T15:00:00Z

A man tells his boss, “I have a problem with authority.”

The boss says, “You’re fired.”

The man replies, “Good. That proves my point.”

{extended}

Winking Problem

2026-08-23T15:00:00Z

A man with a winking problem is applying for a position as a sales representative for a large firm. The interviewer looks over his papers and says, "This is phenomenal. You've graduated from the best schools; your recommendations are wonderful, and your experience is unparalleled. Normally, we'd hire you without a second thought. However, a sales representative has a highly visible position, and we're afraid that your constant winking will scare off potential customers. I'm sorry....we can't hire you."
"But wait," he said. "If I take two aspirin, I'll stop winking!"
"Really? Great! Show me!"
So the applicant reaches into his jacket pocket and begins pulling out all sorts of condoms: red condoms, blue condoms, ribbed condoms, flavored condoms; finally, at the bottom, he finds a packet of aspirin. He tears it open, swallows the pills, and stops winking.
"Well," said the interviewer, "that's all well and good, but this is a respectable company, and we will NOT have our employees womanizing all over the country!"
"Womanizing? What do you mean? I'm a happily married man!"
"Well then, how do you explain all these condoms?"

"Oh," he sighed. "Have you ever walked into a pharmacy, winking, and asked for aspirin?"

#joke

Read more on page https://jokesoftheday.net

{extended}

In Love

2026-08-16T15:00:00Z

The pretty teacher was concerned with one of her eleven-year-old students. Taking him aside after class one day, she asked, "Little Johnny, why has your schoolwork been so poor lately?"
"I'm in love," the boy replied.
Holding back an urge to smile, she asked, "With whom?"
"With YOU!" he said.
"But Johnny," she said gently, "don't you see how silly that is? It's true that I would like a husband of my own someday. But I don't want a child."

"Oh, don't worry," the boy said reassuringly, "I'll use a rubber!"

#joke

Read more on page https://jokesoftheday.net

{extended}

Phone Battery

2026-08-09T15:00:00Z

A guy says, “My phone battery lasts longer than most relationships.”

His friend says, “That’s sad.”

The guy replies, “At least the phone tells me when it’s dying.”

{extended}

Glasses

2026-08-02T15:00:00Z

A man tells his wife, “I think I need glasses.”

She says, “You definitely do.”

He says, “Why?”

She says, “Because this is a bank.”

{extended}

Communication

2026-07-26T15:00:00Z

A couple goes to marriage counseling.

The counselor asks, “What seems to be the problem?”

They say in unison, “Communication.”

Then they argue over who said it first.

{extended}

ATM

2026-07-19T15:00:00Z

A man goes to the gym and asks the trainer which machine will help him attract women.

The trainer says, “The ATM outside.”

{extended}

Catsup

2026-07-12T16:58:00Z

Little Johnny's mother was trying hard to get the catsup to come out of the bottle. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked four-year old Johnny to answer the phone.
Little Johnny ran out into the living room and answered the phone. "Mommy, It's the minister," he said to his mother.
From the kitchen Johnny's mom said, "Tell him I'll call him back."

Little Johnny spoke into the phone saying, "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle."

#joke #mother #mom

Read more on page https://jokesoftheday.net

{extended}

Procrastination

2026-07-12T15:00:00Z

A guy says, “I gave up on learning how to procrastinate.”

“Why?”

“I kept putting it off.”

{extended}

Clothes Hanager

2026-07-05T15:00:00Z

A man buys a treadmill and uses it for a week.

After that, it becomes a very expensive clothes hanger.

{extended}

Leaving Early

2026-06-28T15:00:00Z

A teacher says, “Whoever answers my next question can leave early.”

One kid throws his bag out the window.

The teacher asks, “Who did that?”

The kid says, “Me,” and leaves.

{extended}

Hospital Trolley

2026-06-21T15:00:00Z

A beautiful young girl is about to undergo a minor operation. She's laid on a hospital trolley bed with nothing on, except a sheet over her. The nurse pushes the trolley down the corridor towards the operating theatre, where she leaves the girl on the trolley outside, while she goes in to check whether everything is ready. A young man wearing a white coat approaches, lifts the sheet up and starts examining her naked body. He puts the sheet back and then walks away and talks to another man in a white coat. The second man comes over, lifts the sheet and does the same examinations. When a third man does the same thing, but more closely, she grows impatient and says: "All these examinations are fine and appreciated, but when are you going to start the operation?"

The man in the white coat shrugged his shoulders: "I have no idea. We're just painting the corridor."

#joke

Read more on page https://jokesoftheday.net

{extended}

Invisible

2026-06-14T15:00:00Z

A guy tells his therapist, “I feel invisible.”

The therapist says, “Who said that?”

{extended}

Seafood Diet

2026-06-07T15:00:00Z

A woman says, “I’m on a seafood diet.”

Her friend asks, “What’s that?”

She says, “I see food and I eat it.”

{extended}