They finally agree that whoever speaks first loses.
Hours pass.
The husband’s shirt catches fire while cooking.
The wife watches silently.
Finally, he says, “Okay, okay, I’ll do the laundry.”
{extended} ]]>The doctor says, “Your finger is broken.”
{extended} ]]>The kid says, “But my name is Sam.”
The dad replies, “Exactly.”
{extended} ]]>The clerk says, “That one’s $5,000.”
“Why so expensive?”
“Well, it knows Java, Python, and C++.”
The man points to a cheaper one and asks, “What about that parrot?”
“Oh, that one just manages the other two.”
{extended} ]]>The farmer says, “Easy. I count the legs and divide by four.”
{extended} ]]>He says, “Of course not.”
She says, “Why not?”
He says, “Okay, fine, yes.”
She asks, “Would she sleep in our bed?”
He says, “Yes.”
She asks, “Would she use my golf clubs?”
He says, “No, she’s left-handed.”
{extended} ]]>The librarian whispers, “Sir, this is a library.”
The man whispers back, “Oh… sorry. I want a burger and fries.”
{extended} ]]>He asks his son where he was.
“At the library,” the son says. SLAP.
“Okay, fine, I was at a friend’s.”
The dad laughs and says, “When I was your age, I never lied to my father.”
SLAP.
The mom walks in and says, “Well, he definitely is your son.”
SLAP.
{extended} ]]>The boss asks, “Virus?”
The man replies, “No, I was just watching cat videos.”
{extended} ]]>A kid says, “Seven.”
The teacher says, “No, think carefully.”
The kid says, “I did. I already have three cats at home.”
{extended} ]]>The doctor says, “Stand behind him and say something.”
She does. No response.
“Stand closer.” Still nothing.
Right in his ear, she says, “Can you hear me now?”
The husband replies, “For the fifth time, yes.”
{extended} ]]>The doctor looks at him and says, “I’m afraid you’ll just have to be a little patient.”
{extended} ]]>
#joke #short
Read more on page https://jokesoftheday.net
#joke #short
Read more on page https://jokesoftheday.net