Sunday, May 26, 2013

Dr. Phil and fishing

Dear Dr. Phil,

When I retired, I could hardly wait to spend time enjoying my favorite pastime – fishing.

I bought my own little fishing boat and tried to get my wife to join me, but she just never liked fishing.

Finally, one day down at the Bait & Tackle Shop, I got to talking to Sam the shop owner, who it turned out, loves fishing as much as I do. We quickly became fishing buddies.

As I said, the wife doesn't care about fishing. She not only refuses to join us, but she always complains that I spend too much time out on the lake.

A few weeks ago Sam and I had the best fishing trip ever. Not only did I catch the most beautiful fish you've ever seen, only a few minutes later Sam must have caught its twin brother!

So I took a picture of Sam holding up the two nice fish that we caught and showed the picture to my wife, hoping that maybe she'd get interested.

Instead she says she doesn't want me to go fishing at all anymore! And she wants me to sell the boat! I think she just doesn't like to see me enjoying myself.

What would you do? Tell the wife to forget it and continue my hobby, or quit fishing and sell the boat as she insists?
Thanks,
Ron
P.S. Enclosed is a picture of Sam with the two fish we caught.

Dear Ron,
Get rid of that narrow-minded wife.
Those are two nice fish

Sunday, May 19, 2013

Golf tees

On a golf tour in Ireland, Phil Mickelson drives his Mercedes into a petrol
station in a remote part of the Irish countryside. The pump attendant,
obviously knows nothing about golf, greets him in a typical Irish manner
completely unaware of who the golfing pro is.

"Top of the mornin' to yer, sir" says the attendant.
Phil nods a quick "hello" and bends forward to pick up the nozzle.
As he does so, two tees fall out of his shirt pocket onto the ground.

“What are those?", asks the attendant.
"They're called tees" replies Phil.

"Well, what on the god's earth are dey for?" inquires the Irishman.
"They're for resting my balls on when I'm driving", says Phil.

"Jaysus", says the Irishman, "Mercedes thinks of everything!".

Sunday, May 12, 2013

SUV

Two old boys having a great laugh...
Two old guys talking.
One said to the other: "My 85th birthday yesterday. Wife gave me an SUV".
Other guy: "Wow, that's amazing! Imagine, an SUV! What a great gift!"
First guy: "Yup.  Socks, Underwear and Viagra!"

.
Life is Fleeting By. Enjoy it while you can.

Sunday, May 05, 2013

Four Wheeler

Getting old is easy -
Having fun at it is the real trick. My friend celebrated his birthday this year by buying an all-terrain 4 wheeler. This is a picture of him playing with it in his back yard.

I'm thinking about getting me one.

.
Life is Fleeting By. Enjoy it while you can.

Sunday, April 28, 2013

Older Men Scam

Women often receive warnings about protecting themselves at the mall and in  dark parking lots, etc. This is the first warning I have seen for men. I wanted to pass it on in case you haven't heard about it. A 'heads up' for those men who may be regular customers at Lowe's, Home Depot, Costco, or even Wal-Mart. This one caught me totally by surprise. Over the last month I became a victim of a clever scam while out shopping. Simply going out to get supplies has turned out to be quite traumatic. Don't be naive enough to think it couldn't happen to you or your friends.

Here's how the scam works; Two nice looking, college-age girls will come over to your car or truck as you are packing your purchases into your vehicle. They both start wiping your windshield  with a rag and Windex, with their breasts almost falling out of their skimpy T-shirts. (It's impossible not to look). When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say 'No' but instead ask for a ride to McDonald's.

You agree and they climb into the vehicle. On the way, they start  undressing. Then one of them starts crawling all over you, while the other one steals your wallet.

I had my wallet stolen Aug. 4th, 9th, 10th, twice on the 15th, again on the 17th, 20th, 24th, and the 29th. Also Sept. 1st, 4th, 8th, twice on the 16th  &17th, and very likely again this upcoming weekend.

So tell your friends to be careful. What a horrible way to take advantage of  us older men. Warn your friends to be vigilant.

Wal-Mart has wallets on sale for $2.99 each. I found even cheaper ones for  $.99 at the Dollar Store and bought them out in three of their stores.

Also, you never  get to eat at McDonald's. I've already lost 11 pounds just  running back and forth from Lowe's, to Home Depot, to Wal-Mart.

So please, send this on to all the older men that you know and warn them to  be on the lookout for this scam. (The best times are just before lunch and  around 4:30 in the afternoon.)