Joke of the Week

Items found on the internet that have caused me to chuckle

Sunday, January 21, 2024

Caught Stealing Groceries

I saw a man stealing groceries the other day while on the shoulders of a couple of vampires.
He got charged with shoplifting on two counts.


Caught Stealing Groceries
#joke #short

Read more on page https://jokesoftheday.net

Posted on 01/21/24 at 08:00 AM Joke of the Week

Sunday, January 07, 2024

Monster Under My Bed

Son: "Dad! Dad! There is a monster under my bed!"
Dad: "Enjoy it while you can son, when you get married the monster sleeps in your bed."


Monster Under My Bed
#joke #short

Read more on page https://jokesoftheday.net

Posted on 01/07/24 at 08:00 AM Joke of the Week

Sunday, December 31, 2023

Pain Relief

Every time I get a headache I take 2 Ibuprofen and keep away from my children...
Just like the bottle says.


Pain Relief
#joke #short

Read more on page https://jokesoftheday.net

Posted on 12/31/23 at 08:00 AM Joke of the Week

Sunday, December 24, 2023

37 Christmas jokes

Why is the Grinch such a good gardener?
He has a green thumb.

What type of key do you need to put on a Nativity play?
A don-key.

Who is the only one to not eat at Christmas dinner?
The turkey, it’s always stuffed!

Why was the advent calendar afraid?
Its days were numbered!

What’s the best present to receive?
A broken drum, you just can’t beat it.

What’s a dog’s favorite Christmas song?
Bark, the Herald Angels Sing.

What carol is heard in the desert?
O camel ye faithful.

How can you tell that Santa is real?
You can always sense his presents.

What do you call a bankrupt Santa?
Saint Nick-less.

Who is Santa’s favorite singer?
Beyon-sleigh.

What does Santa clean his sleigh with?
Santa-tizer.

What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?
A Holly Davidson.

How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?
Nothing, it was on the house.

Why did Santa’s helper start going to therapy?
He had low “elf” esteem.

What do Santa’s helpers learn in school?
The elf-abet.

What would you find on an elf’s Instagram account?
Lots of elf-ies.

Who is the best singer in the North Pole?
Elf-is Presley.

What did the elf on the shelf dress up as for Halloween?
Prankenstein.

Why didn’t Rudolph make honor roll in school this term?
Because he went down in history.

Which reindeer does Santa always have to discipline?
Rude-olph.

What do reindeer say before they tell a joke?
This one will sleigh you!

What do you get if you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Frostbite.

How did the snowman get to work?
By icicle!

What do snowmen wear on their heads?
Ice caps.

What do snowmen call their offspring?
Chill-dren.

What do grapes sing at Christmas?
‘Tis the season to be jelly.

Why shouldn’t you prank the eggnog?
It can’t take a yolk.

What did the gingerbread man put on his bed?
A cookie sheet.

Why don’t penguins fly?
They’re not tall enough to be pilots!

What do you call an art museum made out of ice?
The Ig-Louvre.

What’s as big as a Christmas tree but is lighter than a feather?
Its shadow.


37 Christmas jokes
#joke #halloween #christmas #prank

Read more on page https://jokesoftheday.net

Posted on 12/24/23 at 08:00 AM Joke of the Week
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