Sunday, April 05, 2026
A guy walks into a pet shop and says, “I’d like to buy a parrot.”
The clerk says, “That one’s $5,000.”
“Why so expensive?”
“Well, it knows Java, Python, and C++.”
The man points to a cheaper one and asks, “What about that parrot?”
“Oh, that one just manages the other two.”
Sunday, March 29, 2026
A man asks a farmer, “How do you keep track of all your cows?”
The farmer says, “Easy. I count the legs and divide by four.”
Sunday, March 22, 2026
A woman says to her husband, “If I died, would you remarry?”
He says, “Of course not.”
She says, “Why not?”
He says, “Okay, fine, yes.”
She asks, “Would she sleep in our bed?”
He says, “Yes.”
She asks, “Would she use my golf clubs?”
He says, “No, she’s left-handed.”
Sunday, March 15, 2026
A man runs into a library yelling, “I want a burger and fries!”
The librarian whispers, “Sir, this is a library.”
The man whispers back, “Oh… sorry. I want a burger and fries.”
Sunday, March 08, 2026
A guy buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie.
He asks his son where he was.
“At the library,” the son says. SLAP.
“Okay, fine, I was at a friend’s.”
The dad laughs and says, “When I was your age, I never lied to my father.”
SLAP.
The mom walks in and says, “Well, he definitely is your son.”
SLAP.