Sunday, June 25, 2017

A pilot Father’s discipline

A pilot father's discipline (with love) . . ..

                                                                             
Most people today think it improper to discipline children, so I have tried other methods to control my kids when they have had one of ‘those moments.’

Since I'm a pilot, one method that I have found very effective is for me to just take the child for a short flight during which I say nothing and give the child the opportunity to reflect on his or her behavior. 

I don't know whether it's the steady vibration from the engines, or just the time away from any distractions such as TV, video games, computer, iPod, etc. Either way, my kids usually calm down and  stop misbehaving after our flight together. 

I believe that eye to eye contact during these sessions is an important element in achieving the desired results. 

I've included a photo below of one of my sessions with my son, in case you would like to use the technique.

Should work with grandkids too!

Sunday, June 04, 2017

Coconut Oil and Kale

Sunday, May 14, 2017

Senior Smarts

A Florida couple, both well into their 80s, go to a sex therapist's office.

The doctor asks, 'What can I do for you?'

The man says, 'Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?'

The doctor raises both eyebrows,

but he is so amazed that such an elderly couple is asking for sexual advice that he agrees.

When the couple finishes, the doctor says,

'There's absolutely nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse.'


He thanks them for coming, he wishes them good luck,

he charges them $50 and he says good bye.


The next week, the same couple returns and asks the sex therapist to watch again.

The sex therapist is a bit puzzled, but agrees.

This happens several weeks in a row.

The couple makes an appointment , has intercourse with no problems, pays the doctor, then leave..


Finally, after 3 months of this routine, the doctor says, 'I'm sorry, but I have to ask.

Just what are you trying to find out?'

The man says, 'We're not trying to find out anything.

She's married; so we can't go to her house.

I'm married; and we can't go to my house.

The Holiday Inn charges $98.

The Hilton charges $139.

We do it here for $50, and

Medicare pays $43 of it, leaving my net cost of $7.


SHAME ON YOU FOR LAUGHING AT THAT

Sunday, May 07, 2017

Three Trees and Woodpecker

   It is hard to find a joke today without a dirty word or two in it, but here is one:

    Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods.  A small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch, 'Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?'

    The birch replys that he cannot tell, but just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling.

    The birch says, 'Woodpecker, you are a tree expert.  Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?'

    The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree and replies, 'It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch.  It is, however, the best piece of ash I have ever poked my pecker into.'

Now wipe that smile off your face, and pass it on.

Sunday, October 09, 2016

Outhouse

Once there was a young boy that lived in the country. They had to use an outhouse, the little boy hated it because it was hot in the summer and cold in the winter and stunk all the time.   The outhouse was sitting on the bank of the river and the boy determined that one day he would push that outhouse in the water.  One day after a spring rain, the river was swollen so the little boy decided today was the day to push the outhouse in, So he got a large pole and started pushing. Finally, the outhouse toppled in and floated away.  That night his dad told him they were going to the woodshed after supper. Knowing that meant a spanking, the boy asked why.   The dad replied, "Someone pushed the outhouse into the river today. It was you, wasn't it son?"
 
The boy answered yes. Then he thought a moment and said, "Dad, I read in school that George Washington chopped down a cherry tree and didn't get into trouble because he told the truth."
The dad replied, "Son, George Washington's father wasn't in the cherry tree."