Sunday, February 22, 2015

Celebration

Husband takes the wife to her high school reunion. After meeting several of her friends and former school mates, they are sitting at a table where he is yawning and overly bored. The band cranks up and people are beginning to dance. There's a guy on the dance floor living it large, break dancing, moon walking, back flips, buying drinks for people, the works. Wife turns to her husband and says, "See that guy? 25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down. Husband says: "Looks like he's still celebrating!"

Sunday, February 01, 2015

Sex after death

A couple made a deal that  whoever died first would come back and inform the other if there is sex after death. Their biggest fear was that there was no after life at  all.

After a long life  together, Frank was the first to die. True to his word, he made the first contact: "Kris, Kris, can you hear me?"

"Is that you, Frank?"

"Yes, I've come back like we agreed."

"That's wonderful! What's it  like?"

"Well, I get up in  the morning, I have sex. I have breakfast and then it's off to the golf course.

I have sex again, bathe in the warm sun and then have sex a couple of more  times..

Then I have lunch (and Kris, you'd be proud -- lots of greens). Another  romp around the golf course, then pretty much have sex the rest of the  afternoon. After supper, it's back to the golf course again.

Then it's more sex until late at  night. I catch some much needed sleep and then the next day it starts all over  again"

"Oh, Frank! Are you in  Heaven?"

"No -- I'm a rabbit  somewhere in Arizona."