Friday, November 11, 2011

College professor’s view of the “redistribution plan.”

I can find no possible way to argue with this theory. Can you?

THIS SAYS IT ALL !

An economics professor at a local college made a statement that he had never failed a single student before, but had recently failed an entire class. That class had insisted that Obama’s socialism worked and that no one would be poor and no one would be rich, a great equalizer.


The professor then said, “OK, we will have an experiment in this class on Obama’s plan”.. All grades will be averaged and everyone will receive the same grade so no one will fail and no one will receive an A…. (substituting grades for dollars - something closer to home and more readily understood by all).


After the first test, the grades were averaged and everyone got a B.  The students who studied hard were upset and the students who studied little were happy. As the second test rolled around, the students who studied little had studied even less and the ones who studied hard decided they wanted a free ride too so they studied little.


The second test average was a D! No one was happy. When the 3rd test rolled around, the average was an F.


As the tests proceeded, the scores never increased as bickering, blame and name-calling all resulted in hard feelings and no one would study for the benefit of anyone else.


To their great surprise, ALL FAILED and the professor told them that socialism would also ultimately fail because when the reward is great, the effort to succeed is great, but when government takes all the reward away, no one will try or want to succeed.


Could not be any simpler than that. (Please pass this on) Remember, there IS a test coming up. The 2012 elections.


These are possibly the 5 best sentences you’ll ever read and all applicable to this experiment:

1. You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity by legislating the wealthy out of prosperity.

2. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving.

3. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else.

4. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it!

5. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that is the beginning of the end of any nation.

Can you think of a reason for not sharing this? Neither could I.

Sunday, November 06, 2011

Retirement is Different for Everyone

One day, while going to the store, I passed by a nursing home.

On the front lawn were six old ladies lying naked on the grass, Millie, Nelda, Elma, Lacey, Sippy and Rosie.

I thought this was a bit unusual, but continued on my way to the store.

On my return trip, I passed the same nursing home with the same six old ladies lying naked on the lawn.

This time my curiosity got the best of me, and I went inside to talk to the Nursing Home Administrator.
‘Do you know there are six ladies lying naked on your front lawn?’

‘Yes,’ she said. ‘They’re retired prostitutes, and they’re having a yard sale.’

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Coffee and Testicles Break

A guy goes to the Post Office to apply for a job.  The interviewer asks him, “Are you allergic to anything?”

He replies, “Yes, caffeine. I can’t drink coffee.”

“Ok, Have you ever been in the military service?”

“Yes,” he says, “I was in Iraq for one tour.”

The interviewer says, “That will give you 5 extra points toward employment.” Then he asks, “Are you disabled in any way?”

The guy says, “Yes. A bomb exploded near me and I lost both my testicles.”

The interviewer grimaces and then says, “Okay. You’ve got enough points for me to hire you right now. Our normal hours are from 8:00 am
to 4:00 pm. You can start tomorrow at 10:00 am, and plan on starting at 10:00 am every day.”

The guy is puzzled and asks, “If the work hours are from 8:00 am to 4:00 pm, why don’t you want me here until 10:00 am?”

“This is a government job,” the interviewer says. “For the first two hours, we just stand around drinking coffee and scratching our balls.
No point in you coming in for that.”

Sunday, October 23, 2011

How Many Women have you slept with?

My wife asked me, “How many women have you slept with?”




I proudly replied, “Only you, Darling.

With all the others, I was awake.”

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Trip to Italy

A young New York woman was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean.
But just before she could throw herself from the docks, a handsome young man stopped her. “You have so much to live for,”  said the man. “I’m a sailor, and we are off to Italy tomorrow. I can stow you away on my ship.  I’ll take care of you, bring you food every day,  and keep you happy.”

With nothing to lose, combined with the fact that she had always wanted to go to Italy , so   she accepted. That night the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a small but comfortable compartment in the hold. From then on, every night he would bring her three sandwiches, a bottle of red wine, and make love to her until dawn.

Three weeks later she was discovered by the captain during a routine inspection.  “What are you doing here?” asked the captain.

“I have an arrangement with one of the sailors,” she replied. “He brings me food and I get a free trip to Italy .”

“I see,” the captain says.

Her conscience got the best of her and she added, “Plus, he’s screwing me.”

“He certainly is,” replied   the Captain.  “This is the Staten Island Ferry”.