Joke of the Week
Items found on the internet that have caused me to chuckle
Sunday, December 13, 2015
Monday - Sunday Smile
SUNDAY
Groups of Americans were traveling by tour bus through Switzerland . As they stopped at a cheese farm, a young guide led them through the process of cheese making, explaining that goat's milk was used. She showed the group a lovely hillside where many goats were grazing.
“These,” she explained, “are the older goats put out to pasture when they no longer produce.” She then asked, “What do you do in America with your old goats?”
A spry old gentleman answered, “They send us on bus tours!”
Posted on 12/13/15 at 06:22 AM
Joke of the Week
Sunday, December 06, 2015
Monday - Sunday Smile
SATURDAY
Bob, a 70-year-old, extremely wealthy widower, shows up at the Country Club with a breathtakingly beautiful and very sexy 25-year-old blonde-haired woman who knocks everyone's socks off with her youthful sex appeal and charm and who hangs over Bob’s arm and listens intently to his every word.
His buddies at the club are all aghast. At their very first chance, they corner him and ask, “Bob, how’d you get the trophy girlfriend?” Bob replied, “Girlfriend? She's my wife!” They’re knocked over, but continue to ask: “So, how'd you persuade her to marry you?” “I lied about my age,” Bob replied. “What? Did you tell her you were only 50?”
Bob smiled and said, “No, I told her I was 90.”
Posted on 12/06/15 at 06:21 AM
Joke of the Week
Sunday, November 29, 2015
Monday - Sunday Smile
FRIDAY
A Doctor was addressing a large audience in Tampa…
“The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago.
Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG.
High fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. However, there is one thing that’s the most dangerous of all and we all have eaten, or will eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?”
After several seconds of quiet, a 75-year-old man in the front row raised his hand, and softly said, “Wedding Cake.”
Posted on 11/29/15 at 06:20 AM
Joke of the Week
Sunday, November 15, 2015
Monday - Sunday Smile
WEDNESDAY
Brenda and Steve took their six-year-old son to the doctor. With some hesitation, they explained that although their little angel appeared to be in good health, they were concerned about his rather small penis.
After examining the child, the doctor confidently declared, “Just feed him pancakes. That should solve the problem.”
The next morning when the boy arrived at breakfast, there was a large stack of warm pancakes in the middle of the table.
“Gee, Mom,” he exclaimed, “for me?”
“Just take two,” Brenda replied. “The rest are for your father.”
Posted on 11/15/15 at 06:19 AM
Joke of the Week
Sunday, November 08, 2015
Monday - Sunday Smile
TUESDAY
A man went to church one day and afterward he stopped to shake the preacher's hand. He said, “Preacher, I’ll tell you, that was a damned fine sermon. Damned good!”
The preacher said, “Thank you sir, but I'd rather you didn't use profanity.”
The man said, “I was so damned impressed with that sermon I put five thousand dollars in the offering plate!”
The preacher said, “No shit?”
Posted on 11/08/15 at 06:17 AM
Joke of the Week
