Sunday, October 10, 2010

Joke of the Week - Oct 10, 2010

Subject: Dark side of Women
A woman was in town on a shopping trip. She began her day by finding the most perfect shoes in the first shop and a beautiful dress on sale slashed by 75 percent in the second. In the third, everything had just been reduced by 50 percent when her mobile phone rang.

It was a female doctor notifying her that her husband had just been in a terrible car accident and was in critical condition in the ICU. The woman told the doctor to inform her husband where she was and that she’d be there as soon as possible.

As she hung up she realized she was leaving what was shaping up to be her best day ever in the boutiques.  She decided to get in a couple more shops before heading to the hospital.  She ended up shopping the rest of the morning, finishing her trip with a cup of coffee and a beautiful chocolate cake slice, compliments of the last shop.  She was jubilant.

Then she remembered her husband.  Feeling guilty, she dashed to the hospital. She saw the woman doctor in the corridor and asked about her husband’s condition. The doctor glared at her and shouted, “You went ahead and finished your shopping trip, didn’t you!?  I hope you’re proud of yourself!  While you were out for the past four hours enjoying yourself in town, your husband has been languishing in pain in the Intensive Care Unit! It’s just as well you went ahead and finished, because it will more than likely be the last shopping trip you’ll ever take!  For the rest of his life he will require round-the-clock care. And he will now be your career!”
 
The woman, overcome with guilt, broke down and sobbed.
 
The woman doctor chuckled and said, sorry, I’m just kidding you.  He’s dead.  Show me what you bought.”

Sunday, October 03, 2010

Joke of the Week - Oct 3, 2010

Wise Words
As we get older we sometimes begin to doubt our ability to “make a difference” in the world.  It is at these times that our hopes are boosted by the remarkable achievements of other “seniors” who have found the courage to take on challenges that would make many of us wither.  Harold Schlumberg is such a person: 

QUOTE FROM HAROLD   I’ve often been asked, ‘What do you old folks do now that you’re retired?’  Well…I’m fortunate to have a chemical engineering background and one of the things I enjoy most is converting beer, wine and whisky into urine. I do it every day and I really enjoy it. 
Harold should be an inspiration to us all.

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Picture and Links are offline

Pictures and Links are offline while I finish the change over to new version of ExpressionEngine and formating changes

Joke of the Week - Sep 26,2010

A man in a hot air balloon realised he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a young man below. He descended a bit more and shouted, ” Excuse me can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don’t know where I am.”
The young man below replied, “You are in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You are between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude.”

“You must be an NCO,” said the balloonist.

“I am,” replied the young man, “How did you know?”

“Well,” answered the balloonist, “everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I am still lost. Frankly, you’ve not been much help so far.”

The NCO below replied, “You must be an Officer.”

“I am,” replied the balloonist, “but how did you know?”

“Well,” said the NCO, “you don’t know where you are or where you are going. You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise which you have no idea how to keep and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it’s my fault.”

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Pictures are offline

I am taking the pictures offline in preparation of upgrading to new version of EE.