Sunday, July 03, 2016

Over 70

I was standing at the bar one night minding my own business.  

This fat ugly chick came up behind me, grabbed my behind and said, "You're kind’a cute. You gotta phone number?"

I said, "Yeah, you gotta pen?"

She said, "Yeah, I got a  pen".

I said, "You better get back in it before the farmer misses you."

Cost me 6 stitches...but, when you’re over seventy...............who cares

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I was talking to a young woman in the bar last night.

She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave, and got your hair cut, you'd look all right.”

I said, “If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you.”

Cost me a fat lip, but... When you’re over seventy...............who cares?

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I went to the pub last night and saw a BIG woman dancing on a table.

I said, "Good legs."

The girl giggled and said, "Do you really think so?"

I said, "Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now."

Cost me 6 more stitches, but... When you’re over seventy...............who cares?