Sunday, April 20, 2014

The Resurrection

It was Sunday morning, and the priest had already preached to the adults in the congregation.

Now he was presenting a children's sermon. He asked the children if they knew what the Resurrection was.

Now, asking questions during children's sermons is crucial, but at the same time, asking children questions in front of a congregation can also be very dangerous.

In response to the question, a little boy raised his hand.

The priest called on him and the boy said, "I know that if you have a resurrection that lasts more than four hours you are supposed to call the doctor."

It took ten minutes for the congregation to settle down enough for the service to continue.

Sunday, April 06, 2014

The Hookers’ Union

A dedicated Teamsters union worker was attending a convention in Las Vegas and decided to check out the local brothels. 

When he got to the first one, he asked the Madam, "Is this a union house?" 

"No," she replied, "I'm sorry it isn't." 

"Well, if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?" 

"The house gets $80 and the girls get $20," she answered. 

Offended at such unfair dealings, the union man stomped off down the street in search of a more equitable, hopefully unionized shop. His search continued until finally he reached a brothel where the Madam responded, "Why yes sir, this is a union house. We observe all union rules." 

The man asked, "And, if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?" 

"The girls get $80 and the house gets $20." 

"That's more like it!" the union man said. 

He handed the Madam $100, looked around the room, and pointed to a stunningly attractive green-eyed blonde.

"I'd like her," he said. 

"I'm sure you would, sir," said the Madam. Then she gestured to a 92-year old woman in the corner, "but Ethel here has 67 years seniority and according to union rules, she's next!"