Sunday, June 26, 2011

Cheerleaders

You don’t have to live in the U.S. to know that FOOTBALL IS KING! But the game wouldn’t be complete without the cheerleaders, and here are some of footballs finest:

Little Girl on the plan

A stranger was seated next to a little girl on the airplane when the stranger turned to her and said, ‘Let’s talk. I’ve heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.’

The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to the stranger, ‘What would you like to talk about?’

‘Oh, I don’t know,’ said the stranger. ‘How about nuclear power?’ and he smiles.

OK, ’ she said. ‘That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass - . Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?’

The stranger, visibly surprised by the little girl’s intelligence, thinks about it and says, ‘Hmmm, I have no idea.’

To which the little girl replies, ‘Do you really feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don’t know shit? ’

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Annoying Passenger sitting next to you on the plane?

Follow this 8 point plan to shut them up for the rest of the flight…

1. Remove your laptop from the briefcase.
2. Open the laptop slowly and carefully.
3. Turn it on, as well as the sound.
4. Make sure that the passenger next to you is looking.
5. Access the Internet.
6. Close your eyes for a few moments, open again and look up to heaven.
7. Take a deep breath and open the site: [url=http://www.myit-media.de/the_end.html]http://www.myit-media.de/the_end.html[/url]
8. Turn and smile at them.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Alzheimer’s Test for Modern Seniors

How fast can you guess these words

       
1. F_ _K
2.  PU_S_
3. S_X
4. P_N_S
5. BOO_S
6. _ _NDOM
   

>
>
>
>
Answers:

1.  FORK
2. PULSE
3. SIX
4. PANTS
5. BOOKS
6.  RANDOM

You got all 6 wrong….didn’t you?

 
Don’t worry. You don’t have alzheimers.  We know what you are thinking about!!

Sunday, June 05, 2011

Goodbye Mom

A young man shopping in a supermarket noticed a little old lady following him
around.  If he stopped, she stopped.  Furthermore she kept staring at him.

She finally overtook him at the checkout, and she turned to him and said, “I hope I haven’t made you feel ill at ease; it’s just that you look so much like my late son.”

He answered, “That’s okay.”

“I know it’s silly, but if you’d call out ‘Good bye, Mom’ as I leave the store, it would make me feel so happy.”

She then went through the checkout, and as she was on her way out of the store, the man called out, “Goodbye, Mom.”

The little old lady waved and smiled back at him..

Pleased that he had brought a little sunshine into someone’s day, he went to pay for his groceries.

“That comes to $121.85,” said the clerk.

“How come so much?  I only bought 5 items.”

The clerk replied, “Yeah, but your Mother said You’d be paying for her things, too.” 

Bet you thought this was going to be a tear jerker.Don’t trust Little Old Ladies!!!